Ancient Technology for Harmonious Relations
Second of 3 Books in the Anatomy of the Human Fabric™ Series
Andrew Sadock
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Contains complete Table of Contents and sample chapter
Table of Contents (Abbreviated)
Preamble
A Traditional Definition of Love
A Functional (i.e., Helpful) Definition of Love
Overview: The 3 Phases of Relationship
Chapter 1: The Nature of Relationship
Chapter 2: The Venus Flytrap Analogy and How it Works
Chapter 3: The Laws of Attraction
Chapter 4: Transcendent Compatibility (Phase 3)
Chapter 5: Common Archetypal Matching
Chapter 6: Longevity of Relationship
Chapter 7: Couple Assessment
Conclusion
Addendum
Biography
All relationships are imperfect – by design . . .
And thereby perfect!
For if relationships were perfect
We would learn nothing
About ourselves
Through interaction with others.
The unresolved aspects of our personality
Would not be revealedAnd subsequently healed
Lessons are imminent.
They are a part of every relationship.
By design.
Lessons are the very reason for relationship.
The very gift of relationship.
A Traditional Definition of Love
Since the beginning of time philosophers, poets, artists, scientists, and certainly those actively engaged in the process of relationship have sought to define the true nature of love. However, to effectively define anything the concept under scrutiny must be broken down to its most fundamental components. This step is the source of great contention as love may be viewed as a feeling, an intention, a manner of speaking, an action, or may include all of the aforementioned characteristics.
Some say love is a feeling—a euphoric cacophony of elation. Some say the feeling of love is more than this, as though a combination of euphoric bliss mixed with the darkest of feelings when the experience of love bears qualities of uncertainty (and all-too-familiar associated emotional reactivity in the form of fear, sadness, anger, worry, closed-heartedness, etc.)
Some say love is an intention. And that since it is underlying desire that creates the reality of love, in essence, that love is nothing more than this underlying intention—i.e., the desire to love is a more significant aspect of a valid definition of love than is the materialized form in which love manifests.
Some say that love is a way of speaking—as the spoken word holds both the creative power of intention coupled with outward expression.
Some say that love is an action, a way of being as expressed through outer conduct coupled with the creative power of intention.
And yet, some say that a complete definition of love contains elements of all the aforementioned definitions.
From a philosophic perspective, the experience of love entails qualities from each definition. Yet, the important question is—how helpful are these definitions when the experience of love seems to go awry? Does definition of love as a feeling, an intention, a manner of speech, an action, or all the above characteristics best help one, or a couple, to understand the core source of conflict between them and promote resolution and subsequent serenity and joy?
Contemporary Western scientists proclaim that objects of love trigger “physiological homeostasis,” bodily feelings of security—i.e, when “in love” we feel a physiological sense of safety based in part upon a perceived sense of certainty, a non-transient stability and security. The sense that all is well is transcribed physiologically by the endocrine system and other cellular systems.
When examined under a microscope, could it be that each of these definitions suffers from inherent limitations when relied upon as a guide to understanding dynamic conflict?
It is said that the path of the “spiritual warrior” is a path of action. This discounts the value of any definition that views love as anything other than highest action (in every moment).
A Functional (i.e., Helpful) Definition of Love
The most helpful definition of love for the purpose of helping you to navigate and resolve conflict in relationship is a definition that succinctly describes love as the action of supporting another on their highest (most appropriate) path in every moment. True love is unselfish as it considers the well-being of the entirety of the other. True love is perpetual as it considers the well-being of the other in every moment. And, paradoxically, true love is inherently self-focused—as what is best for another is best for the self in the long-run.
Integral to this definition is the truth that you may (completely) love another only if you (completely) love yourself. This means that your action toward another is truly loving only if you are concurrently acting in a loving way toward yourself. Self-love comes first.
Defining love as an action helps us to identify and understand the oftentimes hidden (or disguised) interpersonal dynamics that challenge the ebb and flow of any relationship—i.e., the reasons that relationships may not flow as easily and smoothly as we’d like.
This definition is a key to finding happiness, joy, and bliss—both individually and as a couple.
